There’s people you haven’t seen in months or even years but still feel that close connection. There are people you saw yesterday but don’t have much of a relationship with. There are people who you look up to and ask for advice and people who see you in that very position.
Now that I’m done with school and not forced to see anyone on a daily basis (besides your coworkers), friendships are hard. It requires real effort for the first time. It asks us to take time out of our day to talk to each other. It asks us to initiate the conversation. It asks us to plan out time to see each other on top of all the responsibilities that you have as an adult.
And I guess that’s why people always say that as you get older, your friend circle becomes smaller and smaller. It requires more and more work to keep up with people as you try to build your own life, with your career, potentially with a partner, and maybe even a family one day. So it makes sense when they say, this is when you know who your true friends are. Who are the ones who will continue to reach out to you to keep up with your life? Who are the ones who will find time in their busy schedule to meet up with you or even spare you a phone call?
It’s made me truly reflect on the friendships in my lives and identify which ones are the ones that I truly value and care about and which ones I could live without. Because it’s true that you simply cannot devote your time to everyone or else you would spread yourself way too thin and put yourself last.
With social media in the mix, it’s even harder. You feel that sense of mild connection as if you know what’s going on in your friends’ lives, but you simply see what they allow you to see. There’s been instances where I see someone post a photo of an accomplishment or change in their lives, and I wonder how they got there or what they went through during that change and I’m reminded that I need to genuinely put in the work to stay in touch with people in order to know those finer details.
Even with my own life, I’ve learned that there’s only so much I want to share on social media and reserve the rest for those closest to me and that those people are the ones who get the privilege to understand and follow me on the deeper journey of my life.
So maybe this will serve as a reminder to go and reach out to those whose friendship you value but also take the time to see who continues to put in the effort to reach out to you as well.
