A big step in any relationship is the decision to move in together! It can definitely be a struggle because we’re all raised so differently. I recently moved in with my significant other and felt that we were managing relatively well. So, I put together my list of tips to how to hopefully succeed in this big step in your relationship!
Discuss how you’ll handle finances together
One of the biggest hurdles that couples face is finances. Before you move in together, sit down with your SO and discuss how you’ll split the bills: rent, furniture, groceries, etc. This can be done 50/50, or it can be relative to each other’s income (perhaps 60/40 if one person makes significantly more than the other). I’ve also heard some couples split it by item/category, so one pays for groceries, while the other pays for utilities. As long as you and your SO can come to an agreement on how you’ll be splitting the bills, you’re in a good place.
There’s also the consideration of opening a joint bank account to help make the payment of joint items easier. This could work with each of you contributing a certain amount to the account each month. Then, the account is only used for shared bills. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that (I know, it’s serious stuff!), you can also just e-transfer each other whenever a bill is paid by one of you.
Consider both of your levels of cleanliness
This point can be applied to any roommate you’re considering moving in with! I find that each person’s expectation of cleanliness is one of the biggest contributors of fights. If one person expects the house to be spotless all the time, while the other is ok with a little bit of mess or a not so frequent cleaning routine, it can be difficult to compromise. Be sure to chat with your partner about what your expectations are regarding cleaning and how you will both manage the chores of maintaining a home. This could be a chore schedule, or splitting up the responsibility of the chores between you two or any other way you both are comfortable with.
Be on the same page about what kind of place you want to live in
Another thing that can be applied to roommates in general is to make sure you both agree on what type of place you want to live in. Do you want to live in an apartment? What location works for both of you? Do you want certain amenities in your condo? Is there a certain type of layout that you’re both comfortable with? Once you nail down these types of questions, you won’t have to worry about disagreeing later down the line when you begin searching for a place together.
Figure out the furniture
I mentioned this earlier, but furniture shopping is a huge part of moving in together! Talk about how you want to divide up the furniture purchases and what style of furniture you’re both looking for. Have a good idea in mind for what pieces you’ll need and measure out the space before you go shopping so you know what will actually fit in your space. This is a super fun part of moving in together, but can get stressful if you’re not both aligned on what to get! Also, don’t stress out that you need to have your place completely furnished right away. Take your time to find the right pieces you want (and it’ll hurt your wallets a little less too).
Determine how you will each have alone time
One of the biggest changes about moving in together is the fact that you’ll be spending so much time together. Before moving in together, you had to actively make plans to see each other. But now, you’ll have to actively make plans to do things alone, by yourself. It can be really easy to get used to the company of your significant other. But an important factor in your relationship is the ability to still be your own person outside of your relationship. This can be done by sectioning off your home into areas for each of you, making an effort to continue making plans with your friends or leave your place every so often. Alone time is super important in a relationship and should not be forgotten once you move in together!
Talk about your expectations about guests
Another thing that can be applied to roommates, is your guest policy. Do you want to invite guests over? Do you need to give your partner a certain amount of notice when you’re inviting guests over? Or are last minute plans alright? Questions like these can guide your conversation on your feelings towards hosting guests. The last thing you’d want is to get mad at each other when one of you invites someone over and then having to hide that anger until the guest leaves.
Remember to keep your relationship alive
The last thing to remind yourselves of is to remember to continue dating while living together. It can be so easy to become comfortable in the routine that you guys build together (which is great). But it can definitely take a toll on a relationship if you forget to put the effort into spending quality time together. Plan dates or weekend trips or even days where you will do an activity at home together. Whether that’s cooking up a new meal, or playing a game together. It’s important to make the effort to keep the romance alive in your relationship.
Go shopping together
And that’s it! Those were all the things that my significant other and I did that helped us move in together smoothly. So far, it seems to be going well and hopefully it continues this way. Let me know if any of these helped you and your SO move in together by leaving me a comment below, emailing me or sending me a DM on Instagram!
